Category: poetry

That time where I almost accidentally put a spider in my anus

Boys and Girls, sit back and throw another log on the fire while Grandpa Swami tells you a story.  Let’s see, did I already tell you the one about the electrical conduit that bled oil?

I did?  Well how about the time I ate a whole Taco Bell taco, and somehow didn’t regret it.  Did I tell you that one?

Well gosh, kids, you’re making it a bit tough.  I think I gotta dig deep for this one.  Oh yeah! You haven’t heard this one yet, because it happened just last night.  Right over there. 

*points shaky hand toward the bathroom*

I almost accidentally put a spider in my anus.  And it was this big!