The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Boris the Soviet Love Hammer

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*If you get the two references from the title of this post, I love you*

I’ve got little time today to discuss much of anything, so I’ll discuss only one person who I’ve really noticed at work recently.  On this blog, I will call him Boris the Soviet Love Hammer.  He’s not actually Soviet or Russian or anything.  I actually mentioned him in my previous post that he was Serbian, but I’ve discovered that he’s actually Bosnian.  I’m not sure if that makes the story any better.  Anyway, he’s got a thick Slavic accent and barely speaks English, which just makes everything awkward.

Anyway, last night he came in to the store with more alcohol in him than Las Vegas.  He, of course, needed to buy more beer and lottery tickets.  He tried a half-hearted apology for his insane joke about killing a large group of people, but messed up any of the words that would have meant anything.  Instead, he just awkwardly shook my hand while a whole line of customers waited for him to finish, and made his way out the door.

This morning, Boris came in for some beer.  Obviously the 24-pack from last night just ran out.  He wanted the beer and some cigarrettes, but was getting ‘Insufficient Funds’ on his card.  We tried getting rid of one thing at a time until we were left with only one bottle of beer, and even that didn’t work.  At this point, I’m not sure what to even say to him.  But he is able to pay for one bottle with all the cash he has left in his wallet.  He takes the bottle and walks home.

Later today, walking back from home in the pouring rain, he drops a fistful of nickels and pennies on the counter, wanting Powerball tickets.  THIS IS THE LAST OF THE MONEY HE HAS, obviously scrounged from multiple couch cushions and adorned with pocket lint.  And he’s using it for the lottery.

At first, I was actually a bit amused by his overt, non-socially-aware racism.  But now I see that he’s a big pile of mistakes.  It would be easy for me to make fun of him or dismiss him because of it.  But I’ve made mistakes of my own in this life.  Not the same kind, but still mistakes.  And so have you.  I hope he turns things around, because looking beyond what he’s doing to himself, he’s actually kind of a nice guy.  And if you’re going through the same shit, I hope you find a way out of it too.

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