Hurricane High Gravity Lager: A Review

I’m at work and sick and everything else, so I figured I’d do just a quick review.

Where I work, many folks come in and buy Hurricane High Gravity Lager.

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I thought to myself hey, if so many people like it, it must be good, right?

Having never taken the opportunity to taste this potential ambrosia, I decided to buy one at the end of my shift. When I got home, I cracked it open and took a sip.

You ever want to chug a sink full of week-old dishwater? Ever want to smell a basketball player’s shoe? Ever drink an Old Milwaukee Light and thought this needs more dirt flavor? Ever want to kick yourself in the balls? If you don’t have balls, would you like to grow them for the purpose of being kicked? Ever want to commit suicide every day? I think Hurricane High Gravity Lager is for you.

Hurricane High Gravity Lager is bad. I sincerely hope the people who make it feel shame every day they go to work. It has made me re-think my stance on the death penalty, and it has muted my innate pacifism. When I think of the word hate, I instinctively think of this product, the creators of this product, and their parents. Their parents should also feel shame, by the way.

In short, I didn’t like it, and I don’t recommend it. The people who buy it are horrible and tasteless. I hope they taste the shame.

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